Rendang Padang, and My Rant...

I feel so lucky sometimes, to find out what I want to do with my life. People ask me, why do I love to cook, and to be honest, I can't answer that. Do I cook stuff so I can post it on the blog? Not necessarily. My reason to cook goes way beyond that. My blog is just one of so many ways to kill boredom. Do I cook because I have to? Not really. I'm at the point where what I cook at home, doesn't satisfy my passion anymore. I want to do something more. Something beyond my knowledge. Something totally new. If I get to choose what I want to do with my life, I want to be in the kitchen 24/7, with several potty breaks when needed. (Okay, that's a bit of an exaggeration, but you get the point) I cook, simply because I like it. Strange, I know. But I'm the kind of person who does shit just because. I wish the question "what inspires you to cook?" could stay unanswered. If you want something that resembles an answer, how about this, I'm blinded by love.

I've been talking about going back to school a lot, up to the time it feels like I'm just bluffing. Well, it's quite hard for middle-class family like us who are still improving our life. It's just sad that we're too poor to afford childcare, but yet we make too much to get childcare benefit. This has been worrying me for the past couple years, I've decided to stop overthinking shit and make a move. So I applied to culinary school and applied for the financial aid. Just wish me luck.

With so many instant spices available, what I could've done was bought the rendang instant spice package and cook it. But I hate shortcut. Not because, "Ooh, shortcut is for loser blahblah. I'm fancy. I'm cool, that's why I make things from scratch. Shortcut doesn't taste as good as homemade." Nope. It's just because I like making things from scratch, it's for personal satisfaction. I just love the act of cooking. It makes me feel good. This is my vice.

Simple Sambal, but It Will Burn Your Mouth

My love of spicy food can be dated back to when I was a 2-yr-old. I'm not talking about Sriracha-spicy. I'm talking about real, fiery, burn-your-mouth kind of spicy. My mom used to joke, it's because I'm a tiger, to maintain my fierceness, I have to consume copious amount of spicy chilies. She also said that is why I'm so impatient, bold, crude and barbaric yet ambitious. And she thinks all that qualities, if I polish myself quite nicely, it will actually help me to get further in life (yeah, hopefully..)

My son also loves spicy food. He can handle his chilies better than most adults I know. We make sambal once a month, and it'll last us exactly that long. While he likes sambal oelek, nothing compares to the homemade one. We can tinker with it, make it as spicy as we like. I don't know how he gets this way. All I remember was he wanted to try some sambal when he was 1.5 years old. Let him try a dab, since then, he's hooked. Of course I make sure to throw away the chili seeds. That's the culprit to the burning sensation in your mouth. After awhile, no-seeds sambal is too weak for him. So I leave just enough seeds in our sambal.

Sambal to us is like pesto to most people. You can slather it on any protein you have. Or slow cooked eggplants in it. We do lots of things with it. Very versatile. Sometimes I just want to bathe in it (uh, not a good idea, of course, it will sting you like no other!) The neat thing about homemade sambal is, you can control the heat.

It makes me miss home, where you can just fold your legs up, with a plate of hot steaming rice in front of you. At this point, who needs eating utensils? As barbaric as it sounds, it does taste better that way. You can feel each grain of rice between your fingertips. The burning sensation of the chili seeds against your skin. You're using all five senses to eat. Just don't rub your eyes.......