It's Been Awhile

It's been awhile since I last posted. Too many events, both good and bad, had happened since then. We had to make an emergency trip to Indonesia, due to my dad's poor health condition. I am so glad we visited on time, my dad got to play and had tremendous time with his grandchildren, he had 2 weeks with them before he was wheeled in into the hospital. When we lost him, it felt like I've lost a part of me. Without him, we won't be who we are today. He taught me to love food. Although he didn't cook, he knew what good food is. I remember those days when he would literally dragged all of us in the middle of the night to try some new food. Or brought us to the restaurants he enjoyed when he was still courting my mom. It was he, who told me to go for it, to pursue my passion, whether it's a "money-maker" kind of career or not. He was supportive, never shot down our ideas when presented to him. He might not be the greatest person in the world, but he was our dad. Instead of us being sad, I bet he would want me to talk about nice things, and food. That was his fave topic, second to music.

Elle, shopping for vegetables.

Dimsum with my dad.

Meatball within meatball.

My mom's kiosk.

Dad

Bakmi Acang, lunch date with my dad.

My old school cafeteria. All fancied up now.

Kue pukis.

Chocolate martabak.

Sate Padang, my dad's fave.

Kol nenek.

Samu, fooling around with his grandpa.

My fave snack as a kid.

I choose not to write too much, because even after more than a month, it's still tear-inducing. Can't believe we will be back to Seattle in less than 2 weeks.

Rendang Padang, and My Rant...

I feel so lucky sometimes, to find out what I want to do with my life. People ask me, why do I love to cook, and to be honest, I can't answer that. Do I cook stuff so I can post it on the blog? Not necessarily. My reason to cook goes way beyond that. My blog is just one of so many ways to kill boredom. Do I cook because I have to? Not really. I'm at the point where what I cook at home, doesn't satisfy my passion anymore. I want to do something more. Something beyond my knowledge. Something totally new. If I get to choose what I want to do with my life, I want to be in the kitchen 24/7, with several potty breaks when needed. (Okay, that's a bit of an exaggeration, but you get the point) I cook, simply because I like it. Strange, I know. But I'm the kind of person who does shit just because. I wish the question "what inspires you to cook?" could stay unanswered. If you want something that resembles an answer, how about this, I'm blinded by love.

I've been talking about going back to school a lot, up to the time it feels like I'm just bluffing. Well, it's quite hard for middle-class family like us who are still improving our life. It's just sad that we're too poor to afford childcare, but yet we make too much to get childcare benefit. This has been worrying me for the past couple years, I've decided to stop overthinking shit and make a move. So I applied to culinary school and applied for the financial aid. Just wish me luck.

With so many instant spices available, what I could've done was bought the rendang instant spice package and cook it. But I hate shortcut. Not because, "Ooh, shortcut is for loser blahblah. I'm fancy. I'm cool, that's why I make things from scratch. Shortcut doesn't taste as good as homemade." Nope. It's just because I like making things from scratch, it's for personal satisfaction. I just love the act of cooking. It makes me feel good. This is my vice.

Updated Corn Fritters, Crispier and Better

Is there any food that you loathe as a child, but grow to love? I have a lot. One of them is corn fritter. Growing up, corn fritter made by my mom's helper wasn't the best. While she is a great cook (she's still working for my mom until today, that makes it 16 years!), her corn fritter is always soggy, oily and whenever you eat them, it leaves this unpleasant oily film inside your mouth. Being the most loyal member of clean-your-plate club, it always perturbed when I had to leave this lumpy disk of doughy corn on my plate.

A decade later, I'm so far away from home. Yet, I crave the food that I used to hate. Sometimes, the homesickness is so strong, I even miss food that I've never had. Last year, the corn fritter came to me in my dream. No, I'm not being funny, it sure did. After calling my mom for the recipe, she just told me the ingredients, with no details of the measurement at all. So there I was in the kitchen, guessing how much each ingredient I need to make this corn fritter. The first try came out too familiar, soggy and oily. So I decide to put more corn in the mixture. While most people looooove the doughy fritter, I adore crispy fritter. And the fact that I cheated and used frozen corn paid off. The corn kernels stay crunchy, while the fresh corn kernels turn mushy.

Simple Sambal, but It Will Burn Your Mouth

My love of spicy food can be dated back to when I was a 2-yr-old. I'm not talking about Sriracha-spicy. I'm talking about real, fiery, burn-your-mouth kind of spicy. My mom used to joke, it's because I'm a tiger, to maintain my fierceness, I have to consume copious amount of spicy chilies. She also said that is why I'm so impatient, bold, crude and barbaric yet ambitious. And she thinks all that qualities, if I polish myself quite nicely, it will actually help me to get further in life (yeah, hopefully..)

My son also loves spicy food. He can handle his chilies better than most adults I know. We make sambal once a month, and it'll last us exactly that long. While he likes sambal oelek, nothing compares to the homemade one. We can tinker with it, make it as spicy as we like. I don't know how he gets this way. All I remember was he wanted to try some sambal when he was 1.5 years old. Let him try a dab, since then, he's hooked. Of course I make sure to throw away the chili seeds. That's the culprit to the burning sensation in your mouth. After awhile, no-seeds sambal is too weak for him. So I leave just enough seeds in our sambal.

Sambal to us is like pesto to most people. You can slather it on any protein you have. Or slow cooked eggplants in it. We do lots of things with it. Very versatile. Sometimes I just want to bathe in it (uh, not a good idea, of course, it will sting you like no other!) The neat thing about homemade sambal is, you can control the heat.

It makes me miss home, where you can just fold your legs up, with a plate of hot steaming rice in front of you. At this point, who needs eating utensils? As barbaric as it sounds, it does taste better that way. You can feel each grain of rice between your fingertips. The burning sensation of the chili seeds against your skin. You're using all five senses to eat. Just don't rub your eyes.......

Ghetto Soto Ayam

Seattle's weather has been so beautiful lately. The sun is out, which makes me want to go out more often (this is so rare.. I'm usually a homebody). Unfortunately, I've been feeling under the weather. Stuffy nose, clogged up ears, and sore throat. Hell no. So instead of taking a walk to playground, today we made soto ayam. It's Indonesian clear chicken broth (well, slightly yellow to be exact).

While they do sell the instant spice sachets, I find it superfluous to use. It's not that hard. If you own a mortar and pestle, you can make any Indonesian dishes (and of course you need a pantry full of Indonesian spices). Heck, I don't own mortar and pestle, but magic bullet could also doubled as spice grinder.

Spicy Fried Tempeh, and How I Miss My Mom

I haven't written for quite awhile. Had a moment where I find it hard to process my thoughts into words. I miss having my mom around, so there's an adult to talk to during the day when my husband is at work. Ironically, I didn't have a good relationship with my mom as a child. We rarely talked, except when I was talking back. I didn't know why she was so.. bitter and unloving. I'm not going to elaborate, but I discovered something when I was 16. She's been holding so much burden by hiding someone else's secrets just so we, her children, won't lose respect for that "someone". To make long story short, since then, I see her in different light.

Funny how my mom lives thousand miles away from me, but her voice is always in my head. Making comments. Sometimes it's a nice one, sometimes it's mocking me. When I was playing puzzles with my son, her voice in my head said "Start with the sides first, then you just fill in the middle parts". After how many years, the memories just flooded back. Like that one time she told me how God would punish me in the future, by making me marry the boy I socked in kindergarten "so watch out, don't hurt people". 

While driving to my grandmother's house, we would pass a river. A really dirty one. There were people brushing their teeth there, taking a dump, taking a bath, using the water to cook their meals. I was (and still am) grateful that we have proper plumbing, so using the dirty water wasn;t necessary. Then I saw something else, I'm sure they've been there forever, but didn't notice til that day. There were two men, in their underpants and wifebeaters, stomping something inside a barrel with their sweats dripping down. Undoubtedly using the dirty water, too. My mom noticed me looking at them, said nonchalantly "Oh, they're just stomping on the soy beans that they'll turn into tempeh". My 8-year-old self, who love tempeh so very much, got so disgusted and wouldn't touch it for the next 5 years. While my mom swore she never said that, I'm sure it was her selective memories playing tricks on her.

Collard Greens, The Indonesian Way

Yesterday, I experienced an impulsive longing for home. Yes, even after 7 years of living here in Seattle, the home to my guts is still Indonesia. I miss street vendors selling snacks, while it might be unhygienic, it was cheap and satisfying. My dad used to say, whatever food that is sold in a kaki lima, it's gotta be good. It's like the fast food of Indonesia, minus the trans fat.

I especially miss Padang food, where they'd take out several dishes at once upon your arrival. So you just pick which dishes you want. You don't even have to wait to order. There's a saying, hit the ground running. This is "hit the chair eating". Or if you decide to get a take-out, they'll wrap your food in banana leaves. Hot food + banana leaves = heaven. I think the hot food helps permeate its fragrance.

I usually like their rendang, cooked brains and cassava leaves in coconut broth. But since it was an impromptu lunch, and I didn't have cassava leaves in hands, I tried using collard green. It has the pleasant bitterness that cassava leaves offer, I didn't expect it to work this well. Served over hot rice, it felt almost like home. 

Chicken Noodles, Comfort Me Please?

It was a drizzly, cold morning when I was waiting for the bus. As crazy as it sounds, for the past five years, I rarely go out by myself, without my kid(s). It feels liberating, yet nerve-wrecking. When I left the house, the kids were still sleeping, the boy tucked next to his dad and the girl slept soundly, the only noise was their snore.

I was going to an open house for a culinary school. About 6 years ago, I applied to this same school but due to financial and immigration problem, I had no choice but to back out. Now the latter is settled, so we decided it's time to go back. Despite my worry about being socially inept, I made small talks without turning red (major improvement, I dare say). And heck, I like this school. There was another school that I was considering but it doesn't fit my needs and it's quite a distance from where I live, while this one is just a 10-min drive away.

Spinach soup

Pandan Cake: No, It's Not Kryptonite

As a rule of thumb, when there is a choice, I won't consume food that's artificially colored. Ironically, my number one weakness is chiffon pandan cake. To my defense, it's a quite difficult task to find fresh pandan leaves (otherwise known as screwpine leaves) here in Seattle. Awhile back I found fresh pandan leaves at the Asian grocery store I frequent, but the next week I was shit out of luck. It's so much easier to stock up on pandan extract. I have 2 kinds; one without added coloring and the other one looks like it's loaded with kryptonite. Guess which one I ended up using?